Joe, Perpetually Sidetracked

joesmonkeyfarm@hotmail.com — Mon, 20 Jan 2003 11:14:48 GMT

We are so visual.

joesmonkeyfarm@hotmail.com — Sun, 19 Jan 2003 22:34:55 GMT

My left hand refuses to take any responsibility what so ever! It hides by my side and grows weak and shrivel. I went to wave to Casey and had a bag in my right hand, with the left free of duty. I wave with my right hand and drop the contents all along the sidewalk.

joesmonkeyfarm@hotmail.com — Sun, 19 Jan 2003 09:29:36 GMT

I was driving. Jason was in the passenger seat and my mother in the back. We were driving to Sea World as part of this, so far in, pleasurable vacation--as much as it could, being with the family and all. For some reason or another Stephanie, my step-brother's girlfriend, came too. I dislike her. This says a lot because there aren't very many people I dislike. But that very instant, my mom was ragging on and on about Stephanie and other things and it was beginning to irritate me. I told her too. I told her she was talking at Stephanie's level. She didn't get it, I guess, and kept on. So then, rather unpassionately, I told her to stop acting like a bitch. She then, started crying. Thank God, Jason got all sympathetic and backed me up by saying I didn't call her a bitch, that I said she was acting like one. I knew why she was crying though. She was crying because she put this whole thing together to have good wholesome family fun, and that it seemed everyone was at each other's throats and we weren't having fun. I can't say I was having fun that particular day, but in general, the trip was going splendid. So, I could not be sympathetic and told her to stop crying and that everything had being going good so far. She stopped crying and we got to the park and had one hot miserable day at Sea World.

joesmonkeyfarm@hotmail.com — Sun, 19 Jan 2003 03:37:00 GMT

Are you truly better off not saying anything at all? If there are many things you find terribly wrong in a person, a person you've known most of your life, do you keep quiet for the sake of being nice? Do you tell your friend what you think of him at the risk of losing that friendship? But then you think to yourself, "Is it better off this way?" Because people, whether you like it or not, come and go. And not saying anything at all would feel like lying with a closed mouth. But then that's what you do anyway. You have to be constantly lying to satisfy their validity in your friendship to meet his standards. You will continue to lie?

joesmonkeyfarm@hotmail.com — Sat, 18 Jan 2003 22:57:19 GMT

So, last night, we went to Amy and Ruth's to play loteria. Its kinda like BINGO, but not really. It was going to be just me and Gabe, but Kien was going to0, which was great because he has a car. Veronica wasn't there because she had left the day before to go off backpacking across South America. Lucky little... Anywho, we drank a lot and were very noisy. Then their carbon monoxide detector kept going off. Amy called the fire department and they came very shortly after. False alarm though. We kept the window open anyway... So in the end I walked away with 18 more bucks than I came with. Maybe I'll make that 200 bucks...

joesmonkeyfarm@hotmail.com — Thu, 16 Jan 2003 11:25:29 GMT

I have two weeks to make 200 bucks. Help me. Suggestions please.

joesmonkeyfarm@hotmail.com — Tue, 14 Jan 2003 11:53:25 GMT

its harder to give in than to give up
its hard to be unconditional in these harsh conditions
its hard for me to express feeling without express meaning

and i mean... what i mean is...
what i mean the meaning is that it means love
love is what i mean to say

joesmonkeyfarm@hotmail.com — Tue, 14 Jan 2003 11:40:44 GMT

All right folks, watching Star Wars has made me realize my calling. I must become an actor. I must, then, land a part in an upcoming Star Wars movie and wield a light saber. That is all.

Why should I argue? Its free!!!

joesmonkeyfarm@hotmail.com — Mon, 13 Jan 2003 22:14:24 GMT

Drink and drink and drink and drink and drink and drink and bowl. I really ought to stop hanging out at the bowling alley for eight hours at a time. Last night, we did our regular league thing, won, and went on to bowl with las chicas, our Mexican friends who are girls. Gabe got fucking drunk. Its funny because they were all drunk. When the Mexicans get drunk, they all slow down and start acting all depressed. Now the two white boys, me and Phil, that's when we start making asses of ourselves. I hope we did not let down. My throat hurts from yelling. Gabe is "going after" Nancy. So, I remind myself, "NO NANCY!" I don't discriminate. Especially when shes cute! But oh well. I'm afraid of whats going to happen Friday night. Gabe and I are going to their house on the southside to play loteria. The plan is to drink and gamble. Oh! and gambling. I could have not paid for my bowling if I hadn't gambled. Its a good thing I'm the second best bowler in the league and it also seems that I have a horseshoe up my ass as of late.

joesmonkeyfarm@hotmail.com — Sun, 12 Jan 2003 11:28:27 GMT

You can't satisfiy them all. Nope nope nope.

* * *

Does this picture make me look old?

joesmonkeyfarm@hotmail.com — Sat, 11 Jan 2003 13:19:15 GMT

drunk love!
Drunk love!

being sober gets in the way of me saying i love u hey

Drunk love
drunk love

you're all sorts of super when i've put me in a stuper

drunk love
drUUnk love!!!

I won't remember whatch'er sayin, but i'm sure its pretty clever

Drunk LOVE
drunk luv!

Being sober gets in the way of me saying I LUV YOU.

joesmonkeyfarm@hotmail.com — Sat, 11 Jan 2003 12:02:32 GMT

Why does she have to be so retrosensitive?
Why does she always throw things into the past tense?
Why doesn't she see that it won't make a differnce?
Its really not worth the arguement, settle down

I don't care about your exs
I don't care about their sexes
I don't care about that time you got really fucked up and ended up in Texas

joesmonkeyfarm@hotmail.com — Sat, 11 Jan 2003 11:16:48 GMT

I took a liddle nap a bit ago an had a wee liddle dream. It took place ina 82,000 square foot houseboat that my family ownd. This boat juz goes aroun the world endlessly. Many of my family members are stayin there cause they don't hafto work. I remember this boat from sumwhere else. I remember I couldn't stay here last time casue I had school or sumthin. Well, thats all. I juz liked the fact that tha boat went aroun the world endlessly and we didn hafto worry about food or enathing.

joesmonkeyfarm@hotmail.com — Thu, 09 Jan 2003 22:59:29 GMT

What happens when you are bored and your roommates aren't home?
You make stupid songs like this:
Naked And Alone

joesmonkeyfarm@hotmail.com — Wed, 08 Jan 2003 14:28:25 GMT

Now that I realize I don't need location, Chicago is now very un-economical. I should have stuck to my original plan. Fucking tangents, I swear!

Proposal to move back................h...............home:
-Break lease?
-Get this band thing going with Luke. (You have to start somewhere!!!)
-Find van/RV/bus for total customization.
-Do NOT live at home. Get apartment in Fort Wayne.

Alternate proposals:
-New York with Jaclyn in spring/summer
-School in Chicago in fall

Formulating tangents in near future:
-Mardi Gras
-California

joesmonkeyfarm@hotmail.com — Wed, 08 Jan 2003 07:53:24 GMT

I have visions of carnivals, traveling place to place. I have visions of a van and a dog and cat and a gypsy. I have visions of palm readings in dark tents. I have visions. In due time I guess.

People are fucking weird.

joesmonkeyfarm@hotmail.com — Tue, 07 Jan 2003 08:49:21 GMT

My mind is wobbling right now. Could be the fever. Could be the drugs. Could be me. My eyes are dilated and refuse to stay closed. I've had this fucking fever/flu shit for three or four days now. I thought about all the stuff I would say and type and the prose and everything on my way here. I lost it all when a guy stopped me and asked for directions. I could tell you about my New Years, but I don't remember it. I went to a party of a co-worker's friend. I don't remember what happened between 1am and 6am. I woke in the morning with a swore lip, a gimpy limpy leg, minus $100, minus my keys, minus my jacket, minus my gloves, and minus my hat. I found just about everything, though, a few days later.

Elayne was in town. She came over with her two friends, Tony and Travis, and we played cards and drank Skyy Blues. I didn't get much of their humor, but I learned how to play a mean game of Hearts. The next night I met up with them at the Green Mill. Elayne wasn't feeling well so we left early and went back to my place and played more Hearts. They left around 4am and that was the last I saw of and heard from them, two nights ago.

Bowling last night. I brought my pictures from Mexico because the mexican girls wanted to see them last week. So, EVERYONE looked at them. God these people are strange, the people we bowled against. They all asked who the girl was and all exclaimed with much enthusiasm and in approving tones that," You met her over the internet!?" I was, of course, sick and not very energetic and just smiled and shrugged my shoulders.

This last half of the last month has been very very weird. I'm having trouble right now trying to grasp it all. I'm gonna need a new job right about now. This is the worst thing ever. I am a lazy bastard, but I'm finishing this new game quickly, so I'll have nothing else to do. I feel like hibernating now. I feel like imploding. I feel if I sneezed just right, all my atoms would lose hold of each other and I'd be gone in a blinding flash of light. Shouldn't we all go out like that?

Booze yourself.

joesmonkeyfarm@hotmail.com — Wed, 01 Jan 2003 01:13:54 GMT

There are more people in here than usual. I'm in the Cyber Cafe 1020. I know what I'm doing around 1am, but not what I'm doing until then. So I thought since I have the money(cool story*) and the time, I'll hang out here for a while.

*Cool Story:
Yesterday, while walking down the sidewalk, I happened to look down and something shiny caught my eye. It happened to be a money clip with a 10 dollar bill in it. I swiftly turned round and nabbed it. Clark Street is a busy street, lots of people, so I just put it in my pocket and kept walking. Then, as I got close to my apartment, I flipped through the money. I saw a bunch of 20's. (Holy shit!) I got home and finally counted the money. 4 fifties, 4 twenties and 1 ten. $290!!!!! I bought $60 worth of groceries, gave $30 to Andrew, gave $50 to Chris, and $25 on Metroid Prime. So I have 120 left. Merry Christmas, Joe.

If I fucking had friends I'd treat them on this New Years, but I don't...

joesmonkeyfarm@hotmail.com — Tue, 31 Dec 2002 01:15:16 GMT

i know you'd of like me to

Mexico Pictures

joesmonkeyfarm@hotmail.com — Sun, 29 Dec 2002 00:05:36 GMT

Judgment. Friendship. Love?

joesmonkeyfarm@hotmail.com — Sat, 28 Dec 2002 08:57:19 GMT

We got together, the better of his friends, and discussed certain things that seemed/sounded fishy about his girlfriend's behavior. We agreed to drop the motherload. I couldn't help but give a heads up and I start in the car on the way there. There was anger. In the end, it came down to this:

"We are too young and immature. We don't need this heavy of relationship. I'm breaking up with her."

Another one saved.

Merry Christmas, you.

joesmonkeyfarm@hotmail.com — Wed, 25 Dec 2002 21:52:11 GMT

Every Christmas, we have the whole opening of presents with my dad and family in Muncie on Christmas Eve. Then, we drive back home that night and wake up and have the whole Christmas thing at home. Well, everything was on schedule except that my brother had to work and couldn't come down. Then it had to go and snow 10 inches overnight. It was fun for a snowball fight with my cousins, but it made driving back home impossible. It didn't matter anyway, its just that my mom wanted a morning breakfast with my grandparents, but they too were snowed in. All this snow compared to bright sunny Mexico was a nice contrast though. I like snow. So now here I am, my scanner won't work. I got my pictures developed. Oh God! I had to explain to everyone who the girl in the pictures was, that I had met her over the internet, and that she was not my girlfriend. This midwest mindset! I swear! So, now I want to see The Two Towers really bad.

The Mexican Post

joesmonkeyfarm@hotmail.com — Tue, 24 Dec 2002 13:03:29 GMT

The past week mainly revolved around three things: a girl, tequila, and very poor Spanish. I'll tell you what, it was the greatest time ever. It was like lighting a candle. The wick burned slow at first, but held the wax hot. Then after each day, it would burn faster and faster, wax melting and flowing into rivers. Rivers that would pour into the valleys in the folds of sheets. The wax is so enticing. You can't help but touch and experience an awful burning sensation, but it fades quickly and is strangely invigorating.

Limes. Limes. Limes. I cannot think of a lime in the same way again.

The Moon. The birds. The sand. These too are altered. This all seems to be trapped in the flow of wax. I think I will keep it all in a bottle and wait for it to melt again and see what else it lures into its flow.

Alas, I am still young and I should do what young people do best. Live. Waiting is not living. This bottle of wax will be hot again very soon. I have no control over the course of these rivers.

3 simple, but often misunderstood and wrongly used words: Love. Fate. Future.

Amigos

joesmonkeyfarm@hotmail.com — Sat, 21 Dec 2002 05:54:55 GMT

Heres a link to a bitmap (bitmap! god bless mspaint!) the picture is very poor. eh...

vamos a la playa.

joesmonkeyfarm@hotmail.com — Thu, 19 Dec 2002 16:32:51 GMT

Can{t think. Only drink. LAst night: muchos tequilas.

This is the way to do it. I{m staying in a hostel for 100 pesos a night (10 dollars). Then I walk over to Elayne{s resort and eat and drink for free in a very ritzy (well, it would be ritzy and i guess this is what its about, but the smell of vomit in the bars is not very ritzy to me. these people could drink themselves to death.)

anybody want anything from mexico¡